Imagine for a moment that you are a little girl about five or six years old. Let's say you have a very pretty older sister. You know she's pretty because everyone says so. Perhaps she is known as the "pretty" one, and you are known as the "clever" one. Maybe when you were really little, some insensitive adult made a comment like, "Let's hope she grows into that nose." Now imagine that when you get a little older, the boy you have a childhood crush on chooses to sit next to your friend rather than you because "she's prettier." As time goes on, your subconscious receives many messages that lead you to believe you are an ugly duckling. As you get older, though, perhaps people start complimenting you on your appearance. Your friends and family may tell you how nice you look. However, because you've heard so many times that you aren't pretty, your conscious rejects those compliments and you don't believe them. Those messages don't get through to your subconscious because the contradict the reasoning that the conscious mind has learned based on past experience. Now you've reached adulthood and you take a good, honest look in the mirror. You now realize "consciously" that you are actually very attractive. Then you go out on the town and maybe your friends get more attention than you do, or the guy you are interested in is more interested in your friend, and your emotions revert right back to that "ugly duckling" feeling you had when you were a child. Perhaps your feelings of insecurity cause you to retreat to the corner, or stay quiet, or become too introverted to meet anyone new.
This is a simplified scenario that demonstrates how our subconscious minds can stand in our way of being who we truly are. In this example, you received negative suggestions in your childhood that formed a belief about yourself and your looks.
When I was in kindergarten, my mom made meatloaf for dinner one night. It was really tasty and I'm told that I liked it so much I went back for seconds. The next day at school, after our nap, I threw up meatloaf in front of the entire class. I can still picture the scene including the horrible details. I remember my teacher calling the secretary on the intercom, frantically asking her to call my mother. I also remember her telling a classmate of mine not to step in it. Then I remember being moved to the hallway with my blanket to wait for my mom to come get me. Lastly, I remember the way the janitor glared at me as he was cleaning up the mess. At the time I was physically sick from what turned out to be the flu, I was embarrassed about disrupting the class, and I was frightened by the janitor's reaction. All of those emotions went straight to my subconscious creating the strong message that MEATLOAF IS BAD! To this day, thirty years later, I won't eat meatloaf. Consciously I know I had the flu that day long ago. Consciously I know that there was nothing wrong with the meatloaf itself. It doesn't matter, my reaction was so strong that my subconscious still won't let me go near it.
Imagine that you are a teenager and all of your friends smoke cigarettes. They can't believe you've never tried it. Maybe they tease you about it. You really want to belong. Maybe you're just curious about what the big deal is anyway. You try it, and hate it, but you don't want your friends to know that you hate it. So you keep smoking. Eventually you stop feeling sick from smoking and start feeling that nice buzz. Before you know it, you're addicted to that feeling you get from smoking. You find yourself smoking when you're tense or stressed, when you're with friends, when you're driving, etc. Your subconscious has begun to associate all these activities with the good feeling you get from smoking, and it believes that you can't enjoy those activities without a cigarette.
Our subconscious begins forming long before our conscious minds do. Research has shown that our subconscious minds begin receiving suggestions as early as when we're in the womb. Our subconscious minds are where are emotions are stored. Our subconscious is where our habits get formed. It's where our long-term memory is stored. It's also where we form our belief system. Our subconscious wants to protect us and makes sure our needs get met. It's where our reactions come from. Babies get hungry, they cry. We hear a loud noise and we jump. Someone yells "Fire" and we flee. Our subconsious takes over and reacts for our own self-protection.
When we are children, up until we're about seven or eight years old, everything we see, hear, feel, or experience goes directly into our subconscious. Our conscious, or critical, mind isn't fully formed yet, so we really don't have much to help us reason and filter the suggestions we get. If we are told enough times from an early age onward that the sky is green, we're going to believe it. If we're told that we are ugly or stupid, we are going to believe it. If we discover that throwing tantrums gets us our way all the time, we're going to believe it. If we learn that sucking our thumbs makes us feel safe and secure, then we're going to believe it. And if we experience a trauma or upsetting situation that causes us a strong emotion, our subconsious will do everything it can to make sure we avoid any situation in the future that might cause us to experience those same terrible feelings.
Our conscious mind is logical, rational, and helps us reason. It utilizes experience and knowledge to help filter suggestions. If a suggestion is received that the subconcious agrees with, then the conscious mind will allow that suggestion to go through. If a suggestion is received that contradicts what the subconcious mind believes, then the conscious mind kicks back that suggestion and it never reaches the subconscious. Now since the conscious mind is reasonable, rational, logical, and intellectual, it may understand an even agree with a suggestion, such as "Smoking is dangerous. It will kill you and you should stop." However, the emotional subconscious believes that smoking feels good, helps you to relax, and there is no reason to stop.
In a battle between emotion and logic, emotion will usually win. In a battle between the subconscious and conscious, the subconscious will usually win. Now, with a lot of effort, diligence, and commitment, logic can win. This is called "will-power." It is often difficult and takes a long time, but it can be done. Hypnosis eliminates the need for will-power and enables change to take place much quicker.
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